You are  good, you are  bad, you are doing  well, you are right, you are wrong!

 Why does it matter to such a great  extent ? Why are we making ourselves dependent on the perception of others?

 This is what the external validation is. We feel good when someone praises us and  boosts our morale and self-esteem, and we feel bad  when someone criticises us.  It is a human phenomenon. But the real problem begins when we rely on external validation only to feel good, it will always fall flat. In the current scenario we are looking for approvals from others  rather than relying on our own self.

Using social media as an example, whenever we post something on any social media platforms then the likes, comments, reviews make us feel good but then if the number of likes, comments, reviews go down , we fall into spiral of self –doubt. We start questioning ourselves. The ratings of others affect us enormously. Others perception matters more to us than our own perceptions .

For maintaining our own values, we should not rely on external validators, rather we should ask  ourselves that am I correct or am I wrong, am I fair or unfair and what is my own worth? And this will be the answer which will introduce Yourself with the real You. Because nobody knows you better than youself. You are the best judge for yourself.  It is very important to talk to yourself. We should rely on self –validation more as compared to external validation. A famous saying is validates the entire concept :

  “Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you’re  worthy of the trip.”

Glenn Beck